The following is the transcript of an actual conversation overheard in the boiler room in the bowels of the Engineering building here on campus, between a good Samaritan and a boy named Johnny, who wanted desparately to become an IMAPS student member but wasn't sure why he should join, or how to do it. It has been provided here as a public service so that others will not have to wander aimlessly through the Campus's bowels in search of answers the way poor Johnny had to. Let's listen in:
 
Johnny: Excuse me sir, but I'm looking for answers to ...
Good Samaritan: ..to the meaning of life, yes, I know. I lot of people wander down here for just that purpose.
Johnny: No, well, actually sir, I was wondering about becoming a member of the Student Chapter of IMAPS here on campus. 
Good Samaritan: Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. If I had a nickel for every time some kid asked me that magic question... Well, let's just say I could buy and sell Bill Gates and leave it at that. 
Johnny: Yeah, ok, uh whatever. So what about this IMAPS deal.
Good Samaritan: OK Johnny, let me ask you some simple questions. First, are you currently an undergraduate or graduate student here on campus?
Johnny: Gee Mister, I'm only 9 years old. What do you think ? 
Good Samaritan: Then, that's a sad tale of woe to be sure, Johnny. Because the only real requirement to become a member of the UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND STUDENT CHAPTER OF IMAPS is that you must be a current undergraduate or graduate student here at the College Park Campus. 
Johnny: Oh yeah, I forgot, I USED to be 9 years old ... uh... before. Now I'm a 22 year old undergraduate or graduate here on campus. 
Good Samaritan: Then, my friend, you are in luck. You can join IMAPS today and reap all the benefits thereof.
Johnny: Benefits? What do you mean, Mr...
Good Samaritan: Well, Johnny, imagine a world where you can eat as much of and whatever you want and not get fat. You're fabulously rich beyond your wildest dreams. Women adore you and men admire you. Anything and everything you could ever want simply materializes in front of you by sheer will power alone. Would you like that, Johnny?
Johnny: Uh, Duh!.....
Good Samaritan: Well, it doesn't exist. So get over it.
Johnny: I'm confused. 
Good Samaritan: I know, Johnny. That's why you're in a boiler room looking for answers. But don't fret. See, by joining IMAPS today you can enjoy a myriad of benefits like:
  • Getting to know like-minded students on campus who are studying the field of microelectronics packaging
  • Attending the local DC area chapter meetings, and learning from technical professionals who are doing things you can only read about in books. 
  • Receiving annual subscriptions to Advancing Microelectronics and TheInternational Journal of Microcircuits and Electronic Packaging.
  • Attending National conferences covering the latest in Packaging technology at a special student rate.
  • Eligibility for competitive educational grants.
  • And much much more.
Johnny: Wow, Mister. That sounds great. But I can't afford that. It must cost at least 6 easy payments of $49.95 for all that stuff. And that's not even counting the much much more you mentioned. 
Good Samaritan: You would think so, wouldn't you, Johnny? But the truth is, it only costs $5 a year! Woh now, don't faint on me, Johnny. It's true. For a measly 5 bucks you can live the dream too. 
Johnny: That sure is nifty, Mister. But how do I join IMAPS? 
Good Samaritan: Ah yes, how indeed. My darling IMAPS, how do I join thee, let me count the ways:
  1. You can trek over to the IMAPS bulletin board just down the hall from the Judith Reznik lecture hall (rm 1204) in the Engineering building and pick up an application form and send it in with a check for $5. 
  2. You can download an application form here (coming soon) and send it in.
  3. Or better yet you can apply directly over the internet at the National IMAPS website using your credit card.
Johnny: Gee, thanks Mister. I'm gonna go upstairs and join right away. 
(Johnny heads to the stairwell, pauses, and turns to the Good Samaritan)
Johnny: Hey Mr., how did you know my name was Johnny? 
Good Samaritan: How do the petals of a flower know to open to the gentle, nurturing rays of the sun? How does the homely, hairy green caterpillar transform into the majesty of a beautiful, golden hued butterfly? And more importantly, why did the officials not disallow Brett Hull's goal in triple overtime of game six of the 1999 Stanley Cup Finals when his skate was clearly in the crease?
Johnny: Huh?
Good Samaritan: Never mind Johnny. Some things are just beyond the understanding of mortal man. And Johnny...
Johnny: Yes, Mr?
Good Samaritan: Don't forget to take your horse with you. They don't belong in a boiler room. 
Johnny: Oops. I almost forgot. Come on, Silver. Let's go Join IMAPS!

For further information on membership in IMAPS, contact any of the student officers listed on this website.